dissimilates | INBOX.

[ he's here. standing, accomplished, not alone. he'll be alright. and yet there's a quiver in his heart that has him stepping forward, over and nearly into kogami. gratefully, he tucks his nose into his collar. just for a second. ]

I'd like that.

...Ryuu.

[ something tense, coiled in him loosens in that moment, and his arms come around him, squeezing. he holds him close, pressing his face into his neck briefly. how strange, still, that ryuu isn't afraid of him after what he's seen. ]

You did really well.

[ he seems none the wiser to the tension that unhitches from kogami in that moment, sinking against him with an unconditional trust. he can't stay in his arms like this forever, but for the moment, it's enough to stabilize him. ]

It was because of you. [ that he could accomplish so much. ] ...let's go home.

[ together. ]

[ because of him? because of him what? kogami blinks, surprised -- but ryuu sounds weary; the man is gleaning comfort from him, and kogami squeezes him lightly before he nods, his hand coming to find his.

after the harrowing events of the past few days, ryuu must still be shaken and shocked, and he's probably only beginning to deal with this. he presses a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead before he nods, leading him back to the apartment.

home. ]

All right.

[ ryuu's got a good head on his shoulders and an incredible resilience, but each familiar touch on him seems to melt, leaving his mood hushed and pliant. he can't remember a time since arriving where his chroma's been so low, but he tells himself he just needs to get home, and things will begin to slide back into place.

starting with the slide of his fingers into kogami's. his chroma feels too good to shy back from, a deep and swift undertow. it's a quiet, uneventful trip back, along streets he knows and still isn't cautious of, even if he ought to be.

eventually, his apartment building comes into view, and his fingers tighten. ]

[ the easy flow of chroma provides a little comfort, at least -- the walk home is done in silence, their fingers intertwined. ryuu needs time to himself, he knows; the last thing he probably needs now after that harrowing ordeal is more problems, more heavy things he needs to handle.

no, kogami will give him his space and time. when he feels those fingers tighten, however, he looks over at him curiously. ]

Ryuu?

[ it's never been ryuu leaning so heavily on the strength of others to stay afloat. it's not to say he doesn't draw from the people he loves, depend on them to weather whatever storms that may have come, but it's never been quite like this before. feeling eyes on him, ryuu glances aside, a gaunt smile curling honestly at the corners his mouth. ]

Can I ask you something selfish?

[ in the weeks he has known ryuu, the man has never been selfish. he's giving, warm, kind, a bedrock of strength for everyone that comes to him yearning to be cared for and loved. ryuu is generous to a fault, who never seemed to need help until now, and kogami gives it to him silently, unconditionally, because someone has to be there for the man who is always there for others.

even that smile makes his heart ache. ]

Yeah, of course. What is it?

[ ryuu doesn't have it in him to rush even if he's eager to be home, and so they make it into the lobby, towards the elevator that'll take them one floor up. there's a natural hesitance to his voice, low and resonate in the hollow of his throat, as if he wants to swallow it back. ]

Will you stay here with me?

[ it takes a lot out of him to ask, kogami realises. the words stick a little, and ryuu looks so weary that kogami cannot find it in himself to refuse even if he wants to. ]

Of course. As long as you need me to.

[ some new year it is. he reaches for him, cradling him briefly pressing a soft, brief kiss to the side of his head. the elevator comes, and he guides him inside, his arm around those shoulders. ]

Thank you, Kogami.

[ will he ever be able to say it enough? it's not the first or even the second time that relief has crashed through him tonight. the line of his shoulders dips, and ryuu leans into that simple kiss as if it's capable of pulling him up from under the shroud of uncertainty that's been laid on him.

the elevator door rolls closed, it tugs upwards in a smooth lurch and then releases them on his floor. ryuu stays beside him until they reach his door, one key swipe away from admitting them to his apartment, cool and quiet and clean as it's ever been. when they step inside, ryuu shuts it without turning on any of the lights, eyes suddenly tired. it's empty - ayer must have taken mochi home. exhaling, his heel scuffs. ]

Just for tonight. That'll be enough.

You don't have to thank me.

[ he says quietly. ayer's played a big part, too -- but kogami doesn't say more on it as he follows him into the apartment. he can hear it, the minute scuffing of his heel, and he reaches for where he knows the light switches are, turning it on to the dimmest setting.

ryuu must be exhausted the telling of it, and kogami crouches before him, urging him to take a seat as he unlaces ryuu's shoes, removing them for him. socks, too. ]

Let me care for you tonight.

[ his eyes adjust to the light that washes over the familiar inside of his apartment, and taking a seat immediately makes him aware of the fatigue that grips his body. time has gotten away from him, and he doesn't have the first idea of where to look for it. so he falls into kogami's cadence, the smooth motions and calm words. his gratefulness tempers the spaces where embarrassment would otherwise be, filling out the fragility of those gaps with his presence.

giving a slow blink, breathing in and then out again quietly to shake the rattle in his lungs, ryuu tips his chin, allowing himself to be divested of whatever kogami reaches for. ]

You being close is enough.

[ oh, ryuu. even now, he's trying not to put his own needs front and centre even though he should -- after all, he's suffered, and the bruises he still sports makes him angry all over again.

here and now, it's time to let nature take its course: fatigue, the full range of emotional responses to such a traumatic event when all is said and done, and kogami will be here for him. with him.

he's gently urging him up and taking his hand, keeping him close as he guides him to the bathroom, too. ]

Take a shower and a bath with me.

[ slowly, kogami is injecting warmth and normalcy into these motions in spite of his anger, soothing down the shock in his system; it's a testament to his strength. right. come home, shoes off, shower. he still has stage makeup on, sweat and adrenaline stuck to the surface of his skin, alongside the sparkle of the stage. fingers squeezing, he manages a smile. ]

I need one, don't I?

[ kogami too - the metallic sheen heavy in the air, in his nose. ]

[ normalcy, that's the key thing after such an experience -- kogami keeps him close, smiling briefly at the squeeze as he's gently backing him into the bathroom, unbuttoning ryuu's shirt and pushing it off his shoulders.

ryuu looks like he'd just stepped off the stage -- he did -- as handsome now as he was there, incandescent and bright as the sun, and he's working on his belt, his pants to slide it off of him, wanting to slough the evening's events away from him. ]

Mm. I hear warm baths make people feel better.

[ he's close enough to simply brush light fingers over the bruises on ryuu's sculpted torso, keeping his own simmering anger in check. it's fine now, it's done. ]

I'm sorry we took so long.

[ with each motion, he seems to sink into it a little more - the familiar habits, the shared space, kogami's hands. ryuu is nothing if not resilient in his understanding of why and how things happen. the nature of people, and how he relates to them in all his plainness. hands like that have wrought much, but they've only ever been gentle with him.

quietly, he reaches out to take them, grasping his fingers as if they're precious. ryuu keeps him close, unfraid to look him in the eye. ]

You found me. The two of you... made what I did possible, because you were able to get me back in time. So, please. Don't apologize.

Ryuu...

[ it bothers him that he has to see it -- ryuu is the sun, the beautiful gentle, ever-optimistic man; special and extraordinary in his own right. and yet, now, he's still stronger than kogami has ever imagined him to be, looking him in the eye and holding his hands, that up until about six hours ago were so willing and eager to dispense violence.

he leans into him, pressing his forehead to his with a quiet sigh. ]

You were amazing today.

[ ryuu balances there, foreheads touching, warmth mingling. kogami's presence has always been so calming - so stable, and pleasant, endlessly thoughtful. he squeezes kogami's rough fingers, letting his eyes flutter closed briefly. like this, he feels like he knows which way is up, and which is down. they might occupy such different places on that scale, but here... right here, this is where they intersect. ]

You were amazing too.

[ thankfulness is baked into his tone, warm and low. ]

Come on.

[ letting go, he turns to run the shower's tap himself. ]

[ kogami follows after him, naked as the day he was born as he joins him in the shower. here is what matters -- this moment with him, the way his touch lingers on his fingers.

the shower stall is relatively cramped, especially when it's the both of them in it, but there's still enough room to comfortable maneuver, and he's reaching for the showerhead, turning it on as warm water spills over them steadily.

he can still see the faintest bruises and cuts, the ones that have yet to heal, and he leans in to press his lips briefly to his shoulder, frowning. ]

Ryuu...

[ ryuu's always liked the feel of the water. soothing and warm, caressing away the weight of what they've been through these last few days. the blood and sweat like a shroud over him, dirt covered by glowing stage makeup. it's so nourishing, just like the gentle pulse of chroma that sinks into him from the shape of kogami's lips on his shoulder. he smiles, tired, soaking in his presence just as much as he is the water.

there's something about this in particular, the nakedness, how close they are and yet free of expectation, that's also soothing. kogami comforts without extravagance, and ryuu responds to that with his heart. ]

I'm okay.

[ he rubs at his arms, slicking water from his skin. ]

I got worse from the practice mats at rehearsal.

[ indomitable, somewhat cheeky. he doesn't go down so easily, either. ]

[ oh, trust him to be that sassy even after that kind of traumatic incident. kogami finds himself relaxing, loosening up a little more in the face of that playful little quip. it's just like ryuu, isn't it?

he snorts now, reaching for the soap. he squeezes the gel out, gently helping him clean out the dirt and glitter, allowing himself to enjoy the warmth of ryuu's presence as well. it's intimate, it's something kogami hadn't allowed himself to properly feel up until now, and he helps to rub at his arms, too, soaping it up, and his torso, too. ]

You didn't.

[ did he, really? does it matter? he's nuzzling against him briefly, hands now roaming up his body, over the muscles of his back as he shakes his head. but he plays along anyway, asking: ]

Who was trying to beat you up?

[ ryuu makes no special note of it, instead choosing to let the moment speak for itself in all its plainness, the mellow tones of voice and running water. there's no pretense. this is what ryuu has to give still, after everything, and he revels in it. ]

I did! [ a chuckle, somewhat hoarse with exhaustion. ] Have you ever had to learn how to try and fall naturally? You get bruised up so quickly...

[ having said his piece, he allows his weight to lean into kogami's hands, quieting a moment. ]

It was only when I tried to leave you clues.

[ ...ah.

ryuu's picked up on what kogami doesn't say, addressed his concern so sweetly and delicately that he has to pause what he's doing to really process it. no pretense, nothing else; and he shakes his head and leans forward to pull him in and down for a slow, searing kiss, his gaze unreadable. ]

You reckless bastard.

[ meant fondly, warmly -- it means 'well done'. ] You did it right.

[ ryuu is usually a bit more than just talk, because he says what he means, and people listen when he speaks his mind. but something in that kiss wears him back down a bit, and he's happy to draw from it, angling in to savor its taste, laced with heat and water on his lips and tongue. he finds it in him to keep smiling. ]

I thought if anyone could find me...

[ if anyone could find him and protect ayer too, it'd be him. ]

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